Morning all, just arrived in Hong Kong and already found a net cafe.
Heres a brief summary (albeit a little entertainment) for the nocturnal creatures who's MSN contacts aren't replying to them at 5 am.

After spending all night packing my things for a permanent return to Hong Kong, I came to a stark realisation that maybe I have somewhat miscalculated my 23kg allowance with Virgin airlines. 4 boxes, 1 suitcase and a huddle of sports bags grouped together in the hallway smirking at me whilst i stood outside my room looking kinda hopeless at the fact that my room doesn't seem anymore empty than when i first moved in. What concerned me though at this point was that everything remaining in the room seemed ''important'' and that i couldn't live without it at my destination. Did I store things under my carpet when i first moved in? it seems like everytime i turn my back, something would crawl out and place itself in the next available space. I had already shipped 18 boxes via sea freight earlier on in the week so there shouldn't be much more to go.

Forward another few hours...

Finally managed to sort out my luggage and await my cab which was booked for 4.30pm.

Calls Pui ''hey meet me holloway road station at 4.45pm so we can go to the airport together''

Calls pui at 4.35pm ''Hey meet me at the airport, I have squeezed all my bags into the car and the only space left is situated in the airbag compartment under the dashboard (which now has my face pushed onto it)...in fact if the airbag went off it would inflate down my throat..........

I am on the M4 and Pui calls...

Pui : ''HEY I AM AT NORTHFIELDS, I WILL BE 10 MINUTES MORE', meet you
by arrivals so i can help with your luggage''
John: (thinking back to Pui's time keeping record)...''10 minutes my
anus...see you inside the airport...''

After arriving I balanced all my belongings onto 2 trolley's which thankfully didn't have disagreeing wheels. Pushing them granny speed i managed to reach the terminal building and locate a good point to meet pui.

35 minutes later...........

1, meets Pui

2, meets uncle

3, meets virgin staff/cowboy

let me elaborate on the ''cowboy'' thingymajig....

He sees us pushing our trolleys of baggage towards the check in and homes in on us. At this point he was polite (although i swear he was tutting before we entered within his hearing distance).

Virgin cowboy ''are these bags yours?''

Me ''yes''

Virgin cowboy *dribbles with dollar notes replacing his pupils (fruit machine style) in his eyeballs* ''come with me and let me weigh your items''

He then corals us over to the weighing area and continues by asking us to place every item of luggage onto the money machine as he jotted down the accumulating weight. After skipping over to and back from the check in desk (where another of his colleugues sat) he explained that:

''Virgin airlines has a maximum weight policy for each item of 32 KG's and that one of our boxes exceeded this restriction and that each passenger may only carry up to a maximum weight of 23 kgs and this and that...''

When he finished his song he had the pleasure of telling me I had exceeded my allowance by over 90 kgs and that each kilo over our capacity would cost me 37.50 (GBP) and this came to something like 3000 pounds. I restrained from lunging at his feet and crying like a girl for forgiveness - and also a substantial discount. After composing my self i thought the only other option was to punch his nose through the back of his head but i realised he was big, black and that my seats with extra legroom lied in his hands.

Here comes the cowboy bit...

He offered me a deal....''How much cash have you got?...''

I am now in my seat with Pui and uncle. Yes, they ARE exit seats and YES, I am 150 squids poorer bit i cannot complain...not yet anyway...

I spent most of the take off re-iterating Pui's claims of ''I will be on holiday now so I have courage to approach and chat some girls up - I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE' to which he denies ever saying...

We spot 2 fit air hostesses and after perving like teenage kids who've only just reached puberty I nodded off to sleep.

I wake up 30 minutes before landing listening to how Pui has spent much of his sleepless hours watching films!

Even though we were offered exit seats with extra legroom I realised that this luxury severely compromised upper torso room. The only space left when seated was breathing space. In fact, i sat with my elbows wedged firmly between my ribs and the arms of those sat next to me. If i wanted to breathe i had to pop out of my seat in a sideways manner and gasp a few lungfuls before nudging myself back into my ''extra LEGROOM'' seats...to add insult to injury, the seat belts looked as if they came off a roller coaster ride and took up almost a quarter of the seat....I won't even begin to mention how we got through mealtimes...

I have now jogged for 20 minutes to this internet cafe, it is now 9.30am and i'll let Pui do the rest of the journal...